tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10629336835555911202024-03-13T11:26:31.931-07:00thebeehennerythebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1062933683555591120.post-75216404188014682762010-05-12T22:18:00.000-07:002010-05-12T22:26:39.453-07:00things fall apart<span style="font-family: courier new;"><span style="font-size:85%;">and land where they're supposed to.<br /><br />i'm starting to realize that being non-confrontational doesn't have to involve letting people walk on/take advantage of you.<br /><br />communication is big. communication is essential.<br /><br />i've spent too long without it.<br /><br /><br /></span></span>thebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1062933683555591120.post-54940383757425198032010-05-01T23:51:00.000-07:002010-05-02T00:23:27.371-07:00how to burn the candle at both ends<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">let me preface this entry by saying that i am impossibly sick because of the things i am about to recommend. there. i said it.<br /><br />do you want to fix one aspect of your life while completely demolishing the others? do you want to go from happy and broke to flush and miserable? do you want to know what that little frayed part of the cuff of your jeans that keeps dragging on the ground feels like right before you cut it off with your mom's sewing scissors? then read on, dear followers!<br /><br />this is adulthood, right?<br /><br />1.) make your classes harder than they need to be:<br /> in order to do this, you have to NEGLECT TO BUY THE TEXTBOOKS. i repeat: no matter how many times your teacher insists that the textbooks are absolutely imperative to your success in the class, DO NOT BUY THEM. just say you don't have the money (in my case, i didn't). or say you have it, but refuse to bring it to class. say your dog ate it; this would be cliche if i hadn't witnessed it a couple years back.<br /> did you buy your textbooks? no? GOOD! now it's time to procrastinate. did you take notes last lecture? of course you did! they're your only reference point, after all (i said harder... not impossible.) So take these notes, and keep them in your backpack ALL WEEK. then, an hour before class, while you're slurping down pho with your buddies, ask them if there's going to be a quiz tonight (because, honestly, you never read the syllabus.) WHEN they say yes, look a little panicked, then throw your hands up in "c'est la vie"-flavored resignation.<br /> arrive to class early enough to skim your notes. then wing the test. did you get a seventy? YOU LUCKY FUCK!<br /><br />2.) Get a second job. Bills don't pay themselves!<br /> If you're tapped-out 46 seconds after getting your paycheck, it may be time for a second job. Everyone needs a little "walking-around money," right? At least enough to make sure you don't have to bike/foot/bus commute half the work week out of NECESSITY. Grab a night job! Do what i do: deliver pizza! it's the easiest job you can possibly imagine! Sit around, watch sports, make new friends, eat discounted "italian" food, get up once in a while to drive to some schmuck's house and drop off their order, only to be tipped for doing so. Sound good? IT FUCKING IS!<br /> WARNING: This second job will make you unavailable to friends, family and loved ones. You work mornings. You study. Your schedule was sporadic to begin with, and NOW you work nights as well. People will resent you... But damn... you bank statement looks great. Have fun with this.<br /><br />3.) write music, start a band:<br /> DISCLAIMER: i am NOT complaining about this. i fucking LOVE being in a band again.<br /> Do you have a little free time in the afternoons? of course! that's when you're supposed to rest and study. what's that? you don't wanna? okay, then get out your guitar there, springsteen, it's time to start a band! if you love music and play an instrument, YOU CAN, TOO! All you need to do is -<br /> a.) listen to your favorite band. a LOT. listen to the things no one else seems to hear. the phrasing. the vocal inflection. the fact that they only played half the chorus after the first verse. the key change at the bridge. the augmented fourth. the diminished seventh. the FEEDBACK, for christ's sake.<br /> b.) try to write things that sound nothing like your favorite band.<br /> c.) write them anyway.<br /> d.) find friends who don't care who you rip off.<br /> e.) write REALLY bitter lyrics the first time out, after claiming you've got no knack for it.<br /><br />tired yet? i sure am. time for some homework! char that wick readers... char on. i mean flame on... i mean... fantastic four was lame.<br /></span></span></span>thebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1062933683555591120.post-80561467537257943872010-03-01T21:39:00.000-08:002010-03-01T23:24:58.421-08:00what to write when there's nothing to write<span style="font-family:courier new;"></span><span style="font-family:courier new;"><span style="font-size:85%;">first off: adding club soda to de-sparkled, sparkling pomegranate juice does not re-carbonate it.<br /><br />okay... it DOES, but... you get the idea.<br /><br />i used to blog because i was angry/frustrated/upset/sad/drunk. lately, i'm the opposites of those things.<br /><br />aside from drunk.<br /><br />despite all my awesome ideas and adopted suggestions for bands*, i ended up in another indie punk band, and i LOVE it. writing music and actually PLAYING it for and with people is really exciting. it's been years. the past 18 months or so i always looked at my guitar (scarlett) with a bit of a sneer. see, scarlett wasn't cooperating; i wanted to be able to pick her up once a week and be the most amazing guitarist ever. apparently, she's not into that idea. she wants my TIME and DEDICATION. she told me if i played for more than 45 minutes a week, i might actually get better and (gasp) write a new song or two.<br /><br />she was right!<br /><br />after playing guitar for 10 years, i'm happier with my playing than ever, though i'm not as good as i was two years ago. that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but i'm subbing in better musical ideas for technical skill. as in:<br />tasteful phrasing > sweep arpeggios<br />original progressions > sweep arpeggios<br />solid harmony > sweep arpeggios<br /><br /><br />playing supertennis made me really sore and tired. for those who don't know:<br />THE RULES OF SUPERTENNIS<br />1.) find an empty set of courts.<br />2.) one player stands to the right of the net, inside the service line on one court, the other person stands in the same position, facing, two courts away.<br />3.) one person yells "SERVICE" and hits the ball as hard as they can.<br />4.) i'm not exactly sure what happens here, but it usually involves a lot of running around and crashing into chain link fences.<br /><br />i'm making up for this shitty, uncarbonated, recarbonated drink with straight brandy. ugh.<br /><br />an extremely close friend of mine is in a state of emotional turmoil, due to the stabbing of his heart by someone he loved very much. this is upsetting to me. it's one of those situations where you really WANT to give good advice, but you're incapable of doing so because your OWN track record is SO TERRIBLE, that the friend would politely listen to your advice and respond with appropriate "yeah"s and "definitely"s, only to later remember whom they received said advice FROM and do the exact opposite of what was suggested.<br /><br />as they probably should.<br /><br />pretzel logic by steely dan is one of my ten favorite albums of all time.<br /><br />in an attempt to further my marketability as a future firefighter, i have submitted my application to join the united states coast guard. i'm not sure if you heard about this, but we're in some kind of economic downturn. municipal fire departments don't have enough money to hire people regularly, and this is just flooding the pool of firefighter candidates. i think the estimate for the amount of applications SFFD received during their last hiring period was 10,000. the estimated amount of available jobs was something like "as low as 40 and as high as 200." not great odds, either way. USCG would give me:<br />1.) a livable wage<br />2.) veterans preference when applying for firefighter jobs<br />3.) money for paramedic school<br />4.) a life experience i've wanted for going on three years<br /><br />i just hope they don't turn me away for medical history or other nonsense. REBUTTALS!<br /><br />USCG: so it says on your application that you've used marijuana?<br />ME: yeah, i got kinda used to it when i was doing chemotherapy. the cancer went into remission, but my need for weed did not.<br />USCG: you had cancer?<br />ME: yeah. fought and won one, man.<br />USCG: and you have a titanium rod in your leg?<br />ME: just call me steve austin.<br />USCG: like stone cold? i loved wrestling.<br />ME: *eye lasers*<br /><br />did the six million dollar man have eye lasers? before my time. oh well.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />*SUGGESTED:<br />Elliot Sith - Screamo band that dresses up in star wars costumes and only plays elliot smith covers. thanks @joshkinkade<br /><br />IDEAS:<br />GOLOBULOUS - G.I. Joe (specifically G.I. Joe the [animated] Movie) themed doom metal band.<br /><br />Deathboard Confessional - straight-up dashboard confessional covers with growling, death metal vocals.<br /><br />Probotector - NES covers. http://www.myspace.com/probotectorrocks**<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />**SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION.<br /></span></span><span style="font-family:courier new;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span>thebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1062933683555591120.post-74986031232731774232010-02-07T11:22:00.000-08:002010-02-07T11:33:30.043-08:00super sunday<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">unmotivated doesn't even begin to cover it.<br /><br />it has nothing to do with the mild hangover.<br /><br />some days, i really have a lot of trouble getting going in the morning SOLELY because i'm too busy "dancing" (id est, air guitar-ing) around my room to albums i haven't heard in what seems like forever.<br /><br />i LOVE music. i love "discovering" music. but i love RE-discovering music the most.<br /><br />some things to queue up if you have the time or interest:<br /><br />A Wilhelm Scream - <span style="font-style: italic;">Ruiner</span><br />Spoon - <span style="font-style: italic;">Gimme Fiction</span><br />Spank Rock<span style="font-style: italic;"> - YoYoYoYoYo<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></span>Sam Cooke<span style="font-style: italic;"> - Portrait of a Legend<br /></span>Jawbreaker<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> - Dear You</span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span></span>happy super sunday! if you're eating something that can't be dipped in something else, <span style="font-weight: bold;">YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span></span></span></span>thebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1062933683555591120.post-27633810165683140142010-02-03T17:25:00.000-08:002010-02-03T17:44:03.640-08:00recipe for success<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:courier new;">i take illness as an excuse to experiment with cocktails.<br /><br />don't make that face at me.<br /><br />seriously, i just don't like the way most medicine makes me feel. robitussin makes my heartbeat syncopated. benedryl makes the inside of my head (and mouth) feel like the mojave desert. nyquil robs me of any sense whatsoever. tylenol is for sissies.<br /><br />i try stick to traditional (non-combustible) medicines. can't sleep? two shots of jim beam will fix that. anxiety? try half a bottle of red zinfandel.<br /><br />when i'm just run-over-by-a-truck sick, i drink brandy. usually in the form of a hot toddy, but today is different: today i am adventurous and not 70.<br /><br />toward the end of his first book, chuck klosterman, one of my FAVORITE AUTHORS EVER, mentions a drink HE calls the "witty chuck." it's brandy and ginger ale. simple. supposedly, after a few of them, it makes you flat-out hilarious. right now, i don't want to be funny; i want to NOT feel like ass. so i added another one of my favorite cure-alls to his recipe: honey. honey is awesome for sore throats, allergies, and the dreaded "sweet tooth." observe:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">flu season stinger:<br /></span>in a pint glass,<br />1.) pour brandy LIBERALLY. i cannot stress "LIBERALLY" enough. i'm talking like... 3-4 oz., people. or half-glass it if you're really sick.<br />2.) add honey. a tbsp should do.<br />3.) stir brandy and honey until mixture becomes cloudy and no honey is settled on the bottom of the glass.<br />4.) add ice<br />5.) top with ginger ale<br />6.) garnish with lemon wedge (i skip this because i generally hate lemons. unless they're in pie. the meringue-y kind.)<br /><br />drink four of these to forget that you're sick, along with your dad's name, your work schedule, and most of your social security number.<br /><br />L'chaim.<br /><br /></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uinFCqlD9ik/S2oloLEzktI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/q22nQl_CaeU/s1600-h/Photo+39.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uinFCqlD9ik/S2oloLEzktI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/q22nQl_CaeU/s320/Photo+39.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434197272473866962" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">i just realized how crooked my glasses are. shit.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span>thebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1062933683555591120.post-33395319117412507632010-02-02T14:13:00.000-08:002010-02-02T14:54:07.513-08:00a tirade regarding the academy award nominees<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:courier new;">disclaimer: this (of course) only relates to the movies i have SEEN. i only prejudge movies that are lauded with the line, "the family film of the year." i am positive i will hate that movie.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">a word (or two) on avatar:</span><br />i am completely sick of everyone's strange fascination with EVERYTHING james cameron directs. <span style="font-style: italic;">avatar</span> was a LACKLUSTER TRAIN WRECK of a film. horrible acting. predictable plot. pathetic love story... BUT... like a train wreck, you just couldn't look away. using nothing but beauty, <span style="font-style: italic;">avatar</span> hypnotized people into thinking it has cinematic value, much like scarlett johansson. a lot of work went into <span style="font-style: italic;">avatar</span>. there's no doubt about that.<br /><br />a lot of work went into <span style="font-style: italic;">waterworld</span>, also.<br /><br />give it EVERY VISUAL EFFECTS AWARD. but putting it up against movies like <span style="font-style: italic;">a serious man</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">the hurt locker</span> is just insulting.<br /><br />cameron already pulled the wool over our eyes once before. remember the 1998 academy awards? <span style="font-style: italic;">titanic</span> won. you know what it beat?<br /><br />1.) as good as it gets<br />2.) good will hunting<br />3.) l.a. confidential<br />4.) the full monty<br /><br />numbers 1-4 were BETTER MOVIES. i understand that garbage like <span style="font-style: italic;">avatar</span> (which is even worse than <span style="font-style: italic;">titanic</span>) is hollywood's lifeblood, but rewarding a movie with the film industry's most prestigious award just because it's making a shit ton of money is just silly.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ten "best picture" nominations and other communist plots:<br /></span>in case you hadn't heard, there are a LOT of movies nominated for the top prize this year. they are: <span style="font-style: italic;">avatar</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">the blind side</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">district 9</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">an education</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">the hurt locker</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">inglorious basterds</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">precious</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">a serious man</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">up</span>, and <span style="font-style: italic;">up in the air</span>. of these, i have seen all but <span style="font-style: italic;">the blind side</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">an education</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">precious</span>, so i won't talk about those. SO, discounting the ones i have no business talking about, here is my UPDATED list of nominees... you know... movies that were good and DESERVE such an award:<br /><br />1.) a serious man<br />2.) the hurt locker<br />3.) up in the air<br />4.) star trek<br />5.) 500 days of summer<br /><br />"whoa whoa... hold on a tic... 4 & 5 weren't even nominated!"<br /><br />oh man... you're right... sorry, i totally thought for a second that the academy awards AREN'T TOTAL BULLSHIT. i'm going to reference rottentomatoes.com for a moment. this is a website that collects all the reviews from every critic that submits one, and sees whether the review is positive or negative. movies are then graded by a <span style="font-style: italic;">percentage</span> that depends on the number of positive reviews. SO, in the world of professional movie critics, let's see how numbers 4 & 5 fared:<br /><br />star trek: 94%<br />500 days of summer: 87%<br /><br />wait... so, people who WATCH AND REVIEW MOVIES FOR A LIVING thought that star trek was better than every nominee except <span style="font-style: italic;">the hurt locker</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">up</span>, and JUST AS GOOD as <span style="font-style: italic;">an education</span>? (<span style="font-style: italic;">500 days of summer</span> was only better reviewed <span style="font-style: italic;">than the blind side</span> [70%] and <span style="font-style: italic;">avatar</span> [82%]) something fishy is going on here...<br /><br /><br /><br />travesties abound, but what did i expect? the golden globes are usually a pretty good indicator of how the oscars are gonna go gown, even though they bear as much significance as a freakin' cable ACE award. but why do i care? i haven't watched the oscars since the great <span style="font-style: italic;">sideways</span> snubbing of 2005. to quote my lovely girlfriend on the topic of <span style="font-style: italic;">up</span> being nominated for best picture AND best animated picture (which should absolutely go to <span style="font-style: italic;">the fantastic mr. fox</span>):<br /><br />"well good thing I already think the oscars are rubbish... otherwise I would be upset."<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span><br /></span></span></span><br /></span></span></span>thebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1062933683555591120.post-89457609169798283562010-01-27T18:47:00.000-08:002010-01-27T18:54:28.637-08:00shtate *hic* of the *hic* unionss<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">the state of the union address is long and boring, like a slightly less-entertaining version of Avatar with better acting. you can read all the bullet points tomorrow in whatever your chosen newspaper is, or get some REAL information from jon stewart.<br /><br />that said, there is literally only ONE REASON to actually WATCH the state of the union address:<br /><br />it makes for a bad-ass drinking game.<br /><br />THE RULES:<br />presidential catchphrase = 1/2 a beer (obama's favorite seems to be "MAKE NO MISTAKE...")<br />double-talk/contradiction = sip of any drink (this happens often. low penalty.)<br />democratic applause = sip of beer (LIGHT sip. otherwise, you will die.)<br />applause from BOTH sides of the aisle = (a shot. very low probability.)<br />standing ovation = chug beer for as long as the ovation lasts.<br />cut-away to previous presidents or first ladies = 1/2 a beer<br /><br />have fun. don't drive.<br /></span></span>thebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1062933683555591120.post-47142143052332583622010-01-26T00:40:00.000-08:002010-01-26T01:09:21.086-08:00dry run<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:courier new;">a day full of adventures, loved ones, music, great booze and better food. hard to ask for more.<br /><br />i've never seen little yosemite in sunol so saturated. storms had (i believe it's) alameda creek absolutely raging. most of the routes i take and jumps i clear were absolutely impassible, and half the jumps would have resulted in severe injury due simply to the fact that the eroded granite boulders littering the creek bed were horribly slick; this still didn't stop scott from climbing this near-vertical monolith just because i said "lemee see those climbing skills" as a joke. i made it three feet off the ground. i don't climb in the rain.<br /><br />writing music has become extremely frustrating. every day (hell... every TIME) i pick up my guitar, i'm composing from a different place. tapping different influences. ripping different riffs. the problem is those different influences. they're TOO different. one day it's melodic metal (in flames/dethklok/black dahlia murder). the next it's noisy, almost dissonant punk (small brown bike/hot water music/early alkaine trio). those sounds simply don't mix. this is why i stick to "writing" video game music.<br /><br />shameless plug: <a href="http://www.myspace.com/probotectorrocks">http://www.myspace.com/probotectorrocks</a><br /><br />it's always fun and a little weird to meet someone you thought you'd only ever know in an online-fashion, without them ever knowing you. do you tell them about how you know about their recent vacation? about their great taste in music? does knowing this without them knowing <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span> constitute a felony?<br /><br />i've started a very happy and beneficial relationship. hopefully trader joe's doesn't pull the rug out on me. again. <a href="http://twitpic.com/ztrrw">http://twitpic.com/ztrrw</a><br /><br />still daydreaming about joshua tree. i know i'm into something when it becomes my lappy's desktop pic. heading out to REI tomorrow to pick up a map and guidebook. time to start waypointing.<br /><br />i hope my backpacking buddies like ramen and trail mix. i may slum it a bit.<br /><br /></span></span>thebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1062933683555591120.post-40709156895045284512010-01-24T21:21:00.000-08:002010-01-24T21:50:50.760-08:00heycoolthanks.<span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-family: courier new;"></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: courier new;font-size:85%;" >i kinda need this.<br /><br />mostly because it will serve as a kind of therapy. it's fun to record your thoughts, only to come back, review, and wonder who wrote them when you weren't looking.<br /><br />also, because i wonder if i still have the capacity to "write." i loved it once. it was more than a hobby; it was an escape. once or twice a week i would put down half a bottle of shaw and vent about varying topics, but it was usually a's-related (and yes, i still detest billy beane). i want that again.<br /><br />i was too lazy to dig out my hard copy of "war all the time." i downloaded it instead. it is less than CD quality. i hear warbling. it is <span style="font-style: italic;">deeply</span> upsetting.<br /><br />the last time i really wrote, it ended up being a 90-some-odd page nightmare of self-serving garbage. to go back and reread more than a page is humiliating. one other person has a copy, and i'm glad. glad it's only ONE, but more glad that it's THAT person. it's the only person i'd want to have that kind of insight, because that person didn't need a stack of poorly-written gibberish to have it.<br /><br />i am amused by how many times i've changed the font of this entry, as if the font can convey something words can't. here's the funny part: it can.<br /><br />the advent of this... *sigh* blog... coincides with a new year's resolution to READ MORE. stop re-watching the same movies. stop downloading television shows. stop stealing palahniuk's style.<br /><br />another thing: i am impressionable. watching "eastbound and down" makes me swear more. listening to in flames makes for more melodic guitar parts. and reading <span style="font-style: italic;">great authors</span> makes me want to <span style="font-style: italic;">be a better writer. </span><br /><br />i guess "impressionable" isn't always bad.<br /><br />speaking of in flames AND fonts: why did a swedish metal band choose <span style="font-style: italic;">comic sans</span> as the font for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jester_Race">one of their albums</a>. i guess metal <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> pretty silly, most of the time.<br /><br />applying to another fire department this week, getting more stuff together for medic school, and going <span style="font-style: italic;">hiking</span> finally.<br /><br />joshua tree in april.<br /><br />i plan on getting lost.<br /><br />you're invited. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span>thebeehen!http://www.blogger.com/profile/15210384905777275971noreply@blogger.com0