heycoolthanks.

i kinda need this.

mostly because it will serve as a kind of therapy. it's fun to record your thoughts, only to come back, review, and wonder who wrote them when you weren't looking.

also, because i wonder if i still have the capacity to "write." i loved it once. it was more than a hobby; it was an escape. once or twice a week i would put down half a bottle of shaw and vent about varying topics, but it was usually a's-related (and yes, i still detest billy beane). i want that again.

i was too lazy to dig out my hard copy of "war all the time." i downloaded it instead. it is less than CD quality. i hear warbling. it is deeply upsetting.

the last time i really wrote, it ended up being a 90-some-odd page nightmare of self-serving garbage. to go back and reread more than a page is humiliating. one other person has a copy, and i'm glad. glad it's only ONE, but more glad that it's THAT person. it's the only person i'd want to have that kind of insight, because that person didn't need a stack of poorly-written gibberish to have it.

i am amused by how many times i've changed the font of this entry, as if the font can convey something words can't. here's the funny part: it can.

the advent of this... *sigh* blog... coincides with a new year's resolution to READ MORE. stop re-watching the same movies. stop downloading television shows. stop stealing palahniuk's style.

another thing: i am impressionable. watching "eastbound and down" makes me swear more. listening to in flames makes for more melodic guitar parts. and reading great authors makes me want to be a better writer.

i guess "impressionable" isn't always bad.

speaking of in flames AND fonts: why did a swedish metal band choose comic sans as the font for one of their albums. i guess metal is pretty silly, most of the time.

applying to another fire department this week, getting more stuff together for medic school, and going hiking finally.

joshua tree in april.

i plan on getting lost.

you're invited.