Wednesday, February 3, 2010

recipe for success

i take illness as an excuse to experiment with cocktails.

don't make that face at me.

seriously, i just don't like the way most medicine makes me feel. robitussin makes my heartbeat syncopated. benedryl makes the inside of my head (and mouth) feel like the mojave desert. nyquil robs me of any sense whatsoever. tylenol is for sissies.

i try stick to traditional (non-combustible) medicines. can't sleep? two shots of jim beam will fix that. anxiety? try half a bottle of red zinfandel.

when i'm just run-over-by-a-truck sick, i drink brandy. usually in the form of a hot toddy, but today is different: today i am adventurous and not 70.

toward the end of his first book, chuck klosterman, one of my FAVORITE AUTHORS EVER, mentions a drink HE calls the "witty chuck." it's brandy and ginger ale. simple. supposedly, after a few of them, it makes you flat-out hilarious. right now, i don't want to be funny; i want to NOT feel like ass. so i added another one of my favorite cure-alls to his recipe: honey. honey is awesome for sore throats, allergies, and the dreaded "sweet tooth." observe:

flu season stinger:
in a pint glass,
1.) pour brandy LIBERALLY. i cannot stress "LIBERALLY" enough. i'm talking like... 3-4 oz., people. or half-glass it if you're really sick.
2.) add honey. a tbsp should do.
3.) stir brandy and honey until mixture becomes cloudy and no honey is settled on the bottom of the glass.
4.) add ice
5.) top with ginger ale
6.) garnish with lemon wedge (i skip this because i generally hate lemons. unless they're in pie. the meringue-y kind.)

drink four of these to forget that you're sick, along with your dad's name, your work schedule, and most of your social security number.

L'chaim.


i just realized how crooked my glasses are. shit.

1 comment:

  1. That sounds good I'll try it out on my nephew first he'll drink almost any thing. Hey another good cure for not getting the flu just cut a onion put it on a plate by your bed or in the room some where the onion will absorbe the germs in the room. But make sure you throw it away when done because it's poisoness now. But your cure sounds more tasty.

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